I knew I always wanted to be a mom.... Even before I knew I would be married.
I'm not really one to plan out my entire life. I never made a 'list' on qualities I wanted in a guy. I never had a "dream wedding" planned out. I never planned on when I was going to have kids. How many kids. What their names were going to be etc. etc. Lots of girls do all of those things and I don't think there is anything "wrong" with this but the reason I chose NOT to do any of them was because I never knew if they were meant for me. I never knew if I would ever get to those stages in my life. Even if I did, what if I had planned out my entire wedding and my future husband hated all those plans or had in his head a different way to do things? It's as much his wedding as it is mine - Seems unfair for me to choose everything I want without his opinions....
With all that said, I knew I wanted to have kids I just didn't know when that was going to happen. Occasionally us girlfriends would sit around talking about how long we thought we would wait until after marriage before having kids. Some of my friends don't want to wait at all. They want kids the minute they get married, and that's okay. Some others want to wait a few years whether to save money, buy a house, see the world, or just spend time as a couple before little ones start interrupting. I was definitely part of the latter group. By this time I had met what would be my husband and I knew I wanted to spend my life with him. We had had this conversation before ourselves. We came to the agreement that we wanted to wait - how long? We really didn't know. We knew when the timing was right God would put the desire to have kids in our hearts. We wanted to wait because we wanted time to ourselves. I love that it's just him and me and if we want to jump in the car and go on a date we could. No calling up sitters asking if they were free. No stuffing everything in a diaper bag and lugging with us. No crying babies. We could just go. Spending time and getting to know ourselves as a couple was our biggest priority.
I've been married 4 months now and I can't tell you the number of times I've been asked "are you pregnant yet?" or the more popular one "how long before you have babies?" I use to answer these questions honestly but now the more people question, the more annoyed I get. I finally had to tell people to mind their own business. I get upset by the question because I JUST got married. Is there a law somewhere that says 'the minute you are married you need to get pregnant?' If I don't have children am I looked at as a failure as a woman? Can I not please my man?
It's such a personal question. I know friends ask out of love and hope for you as a couple to grow your family. Others are just nosey.
This question really started to bug me as more and more of my girlfriends found it hard to get pregnant or stay pregnant. I've seen the hurt in their eyes. The pain of losing their precious baby or the look of disappointment when the pregnancy test comes up negative once again. The general population does not understand the emotions that come up from what they think is such a simple question, as if it's any of their business anyway!
I guess this is just a reminder to be careful what you say or ask someone because you might not understand the magnitude of the question.
As for me? I refused to answer that question. I usually say it's an off limits question as polite as I can. Maybe I am and maybe I'm not...It's only for us to know such an intimate detail of our relationship. When we're ready for the world to know that Baby P. is on the way then we'll make that announcement. Until then know that we're living life just as we want - Live Laugh Love
I'm not really one to plan out my entire life. I never made a 'list' on qualities I wanted in a guy. I never had a "dream wedding" planned out. I never planned on when I was going to have kids. How many kids. What their names were going to be etc. etc. Lots of girls do all of those things and I don't think there is anything "wrong" with this but the reason I chose NOT to do any of them was because I never knew if they were meant for me. I never knew if I would ever get to those stages in my life. Even if I did, what if I had planned out my entire wedding and my future husband hated all those plans or had in his head a different way to do things? It's as much his wedding as it is mine - Seems unfair for me to choose everything I want without his opinions....
With all that said, I knew I wanted to have kids I just didn't know when that was going to happen. Occasionally us girlfriends would sit around talking about how long we thought we would wait until after marriage before having kids. Some of my friends don't want to wait at all. They want kids the minute they get married, and that's okay. Some others want to wait a few years whether to save money, buy a house, see the world, or just spend time as a couple before little ones start interrupting. I was definitely part of the latter group. By this time I had met what would be my husband and I knew I wanted to spend my life with him. We had had this conversation before ourselves. We came to the agreement that we wanted to wait - how long? We really didn't know. We knew when the timing was right God would put the desire to have kids in our hearts. We wanted to wait because we wanted time to ourselves. I love that it's just him and me and if we want to jump in the car and go on a date we could. No calling up sitters asking if they were free. No stuffing everything in a diaper bag and lugging with us. No crying babies. We could just go. Spending time and getting to know ourselves as a couple was our biggest priority.
I've been married 4 months now and I can't tell you the number of times I've been asked "are you pregnant yet?" or the more popular one "how long before you have babies?" I use to answer these questions honestly but now the more people question, the more annoyed I get. I finally had to tell people to mind their own business. I get upset by the question because I JUST got married. Is there a law somewhere that says 'the minute you are married you need to get pregnant?' If I don't have children am I looked at as a failure as a woman? Can I not please my man?
It's such a personal question. I know friends ask out of love and hope for you as a couple to grow your family. Others are just nosey.
This question really started to bug me as more and more of my girlfriends found it hard to get pregnant or stay pregnant. I've seen the hurt in their eyes. The pain of losing their precious baby or the look of disappointment when the pregnancy test comes up negative once again. The general population does not understand the emotions that come up from what they think is such a simple question, as if it's any of their business anyway!
I guess this is just a reminder to be careful what you say or ask someone because you might not understand the magnitude of the question.
As for me? I refused to answer that question. I usually say it's an off limits question as polite as I can. Maybe I am and maybe I'm not...It's only for us to know such an intimate detail of our relationship. When we're ready for the world to know that Baby P. is on the way then we'll make that announcement. Until then know that we're living life just as we want - Live Laugh Love
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