My girls are just about four weeks old now and everywhere we go people like to look at them and ask questions. Me, being a new mom, can talk about them all day long. I enjoy it. However I must say when people tell me "oh I have two kids under two so it's a lot like having twins" or "my kids are only 10 months apart, I know exactly what you're going through" I want to scream and say NO YOU DO NOT!
Now, please don't get me wrong, motherhood in general is HARD. Every child and every family circumstance has it's own unique difficulties (feel free to tell me them, I like to know I'm not alone here) but if you want to see a twin mom's blood boil, tell her your situation is just like having twins because that statement, and those like it, are simply not true. And I'll tell you why!
First, because there was a time when you had ONLY ONE. You were pregnant with only one at a time, you brought one home from the hospital, you devoted all your time and love to that one. Then you had two. For twin moms we have two from the get go. We needed to learn how to divide our time between the two and who needed us most at that given moment and we needed to learn quick!
When singleton moms found out they were pregnant with their one, they went out and bought (registered) what they needed for that one. Twin mommies need two of ---I won't say everything--- but a lot. I, myself, registered for anything that I thought I might like to have and if someone gifted to me, great and if not no big deal we would just have to make due. Currently my twins share a crib but there will be a time when we'll need to get a second one, but we also needed two car seats, two high chairs, multiple bottles and nipples, etc. etc.
We don't get the luxury of hand me downs. When your second one arrived you already had some items on hand, i.e. a crib, bottles, towels, clothes (if same gender---and even if not, my girls have worn their boy cousin clothes, no shame), bouncers, pacifiers, on and on. We had to buy all new.
Pregnancy with two is not the same thing as two pregnancies. It's more uncomfortable, there are more factors to consider, and the scary thought that your babies could both be in the NICU for an extended period of time.
Parents of twins as their first children don't have anything to go by, they're jumping into parenthood and EVERYTHING is trial and error. Parents who have had a child before have a guinea pig =D they already have an idea about how it all works and usually apply it to the children who follow.
Having twins is not harder than having only one at a time, nor is it easier. It is just different.
Now, please don't get me wrong, motherhood in general is HARD. Every child and every family circumstance has it's own unique difficulties (feel free to tell me them, I like to know I'm not alone here) but if you want to see a twin mom's blood boil, tell her your situation is just like having twins because that statement, and those like it, are simply not true. And I'll tell you why!
First, because there was a time when you had ONLY ONE. You were pregnant with only one at a time, you brought one home from the hospital, you devoted all your time and love to that one. Then you had two. For twin moms we have two from the get go. We needed to learn how to divide our time between the two and who needed us most at that given moment and we needed to learn quick!
When singleton moms found out they were pregnant with their one, they went out and bought (registered) what they needed for that one. Twin mommies need two of ---I won't say everything--- but a lot. I, myself, registered for anything that I thought I might like to have and if someone gifted to me, great and if not no big deal we would just have to make due. Currently my twins share a crib but there will be a time when we'll need to get a second one, but we also needed two car seats, two high chairs, multiple bottles and nipples, etc. etc.
We don't get the luxury of hand me downs. When your second one arrived you already had some items on hand, i.e. a crib, bottles, towels, clothes (if same gender---and even if not, my girls have worn their boy cousin clothes, no shame), bouncers, pacifiers, on and on. We had to buy all new.
Pregnancy with two is not the same thing as two pregnancies. It's more uncomfortable, there are more factors to consider, and the scary thought that your babies could both be in the NICU for an extended period of time.
Parents of twins as their first children don't have anything to go by, they're jumping into parenthood and EVERYTHING is trial and error. Parents who have had a child before have a guinea pig =D they already have an idea about how it all works and usually apply it to the children who follow.
Having twins is not harder than having only one at a time, nor is it easier. It is just different.
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