It's finally here, the long awaited twin birth story!! I've been getting a lot of questions about their birth these last few weeks and so I'm excited to finally share their story with you. Many have asked why we had a c-section when we were scheduled for an induction, did the doctors force me to do it because they're twins, and could I just not handle the labor?? Your questions will now be answered.
Birth Story
As many of you know the doctors recommended that we schedule an induction date at 38 weeks with our twins. This is because the risk of death increases the longer they are in the womb, running out of space. I know plenty of twin moms who went natural, 40 weeks or over and their twins are perfectly happy and healthy. Props to you moms. However with how long it took us to get pregnant and WHAT it took to get pregnant I didn't want to risk anything I could control with my twins. It's the same with the pregnancies "rules" i.e. don't eat sushi while pregnant. I chose to follow said rules, no matter how silly, because I thought better safe than sorry. So we knew the deadline was going to be around March 25th even though their actual due date was April 8th. At our ultrasound in week 35 Baby B - now known as Olivia, was measuring small. She was labeled a IUGR baby (Intrauterine Growth Restriction). This meant the doctors would like to see an induction scheduled in week 37 instead of week 38. They weren't sure if there was a problem with the placenta or cord causing her to plateau her growth but thought it best they come out a week sooner. Again because of our history I trusted the doctors and we chose March 21st as our induction day.
Fun Fact: My birthday is March 25th and my mom's is March 16th - we thought it would be neat for them to be born in the middle of our birthdays.
The night before our scheduled induction I couldn't sleep. I was SO nervous. I had been in the hospital before with contractions in week 33 - I knew they hurt and I knew it was going to be 10x worse!! I had made an agreement with my doctor that we would fist break my bags of water, wait two hours to see if my body progressed on its own, and if not then start the Pitocin. I was starting to worry that my body wouldn't make the necessary changes and I was going to need that awful drug. People say Pitocin is better than back labor...yeah well I was already having some of that too. Either way this plays out it's not going to be fun...
The next morning we arrived at the hospital bright and early. 7:00 am to be exact. We got checked in and found out they didn't have a wheelchair accessible room available at the time. I was starting to get bummed because the room they put us in was small and it was hard to move my wheelchair around in it and the bathroom was almost impossible for me to use. But I kept crossing my fingers that it was going to work out and we wouldn't need that room for very long. Between 7:30 and 8:00 am my OB came in to discuss the game plan (aka birth plan) and mentioned that I would labor in this room and then be wheeled into the OR room to give birth - just in case the twins needed medical attention or I needed an emergency C Section. I was allowed to have up to 4 people in the room while I labored but only my husband was allowed back in the OR room with me. I had both my hubby and my mom there at the time. I figured my mom has done this four times now, she's a pro, and can help me through all this. My OB asked me again if I thought I wanted to go the natural route, they had been leaving the decision up to me for a few reasons. Both twins were head down and in great position to deliver naturally, nothing in pregnancy warranted concerns, and my legs were the biggest reason they were letting me decide. If babies looked great and I could position my own legs where they needed to be then fine, we'll go naturally. But, once my OB asked me on that morning if we were still planning on doing this naturally and asked how my legs were doing I started to rethink my situation. I asked her to let me have time to talk with my family and decide. I turned to my mom and husband and asked what they thought - both said it was up to me and how I felt. I said I just don't know. I don't want a C Section, those take a long time to heal from and with me being in the chair it might take even longer. I want to do this naturally with no drugs because it's best for the babies. My mom suggested I call my Aunt who worked as a nurse and has had twins herself. After a long conversation with her and telling her my concerns of laboring 27 hours, not being able to get my legs spread as far apart as needed, I would end up having a C Section anyway she agreed she thought going straight for the C Section was the smart thing to do. It wasn't worth laboring all those hours if I couldn't get my legs apart, and no one knows the condition of my legs (because we haven't been able to take x-rays) I might break my hips trying to go naturally. After I hung up with her, and a few tears later, I had made the much hated but needed decision of going straight for the C Section. It was my choice.
The Caesarean Section
After I made the decision everything happened very quickly. The anesthesiologist came at about 9:00 to discuss my options. Because I haven't been walking I've been put on blood thinners. With the blood thinners, I have a higher risk of the spinals not working or something going terribly wrong so I opted not to have a spinal block or epidural but instead be completely put out under general anesthesia. That decision made it so Eric could not be in the OR room with me in case I started convulsing or worse... but it also meant that he wasn't going to be able to cut their cords. I got emotional about this and asked if he wanted to do that, because I would go for the spinal if he really wanted to cut their cords. He told me not to worry about it, that general was the way to go because if one drop of blood got into my spinal cord I could have serious damage.
At 10:00 I was prepped for my surgery. My parents prayed with us and then left to wait in the waiting room. Eric put on scrubs and I basically had nothing, just that tiny gown they give you but unbutton so I'm basically exposed. I kissed my husband goodbye and was wheeled into the OR room. Here we go I thought. Everything I never wanted. I had about 13 people in the room with me, one team for each baby, two doctors, and one anesthesiologist. I laid there like a frog ready to be dissected. Legs bent, stomach out, arms both out to the side. Okay real talk for a minute, the best thing about that surgery was the catheter and I'm not joking. It wasn't fun having it put in but once it was in it was great. Everyone had been telling me I needed to "get my sleep now" but what they don't know is that like any other pregnant lady I was getting up about every two hours to go to the bathroom. That's not an easy task when you can't walk and you have a watermelon to carry around. Getting a catheter put in meant I wouldn't have to kill myself trying to get to the bathroom = I was happy. Because I was going under general, they prepped everything before they knocked me out. They didn't want the babies under for very long, so once everything was ready to go, the anesthesiologist told me to have a good nap and I was out.
I woke up in the recovery room with Eric. Each time I go under general I always wake up cold and this time was no different. I was freezing! I asked for more blankets and they put a tube under me that blew hot air, then I was handed my babies! I was still extremely tired but this was the happiest moment of my life. I was finally able to hold my babies, and meet them. I asked Eric who was who and he said Georgia was on my right. I asked about 5 more times because I wanted to make sure Baby A really got the name Georgia. They had us fill out the birth certificates before we went into surgery and basically said whoever they pulled out first was getting the name Georgia - I said "OH NO, Baby A has been Georgia my entire pregnancy, I can't just call Baby B that name just because YOU pulled her out first." Baby A indeed came out first and was named Georgia appropriately and Baby B is our Olivia.
Georgia Mae was born at 10:56 am weighing 5lbs 2oz 17 inches long
Olivia Jordan was born a minute later at 10:57 am 5lbs 4oz 18.5 inches long
Beastfeeding
In the end the baby that the doctors were worried about ending up being the bigger baby! They were both on the small side and I was concerned they were going to need some NICU time. Praise God we didn't have to spend ANY time in the NICU at all!! If I could go back though and change one thing I would NEVER have said "give my babies a bottle." Before we went to our mother & baby room, I wasn't feeling supurb. I was still cold, super tired, and could feel every bit of aftermath of my surgery because I wasn't on my morphine drip yet and that's when they asked me if I wanted to try to nurse or if the nurses should give the babies a bottle for their first feed. I initially told them I wanted to nurse my babies. When the time actually came, the babies weren't in the room with me, but my nurse came to me and said your babies are hungry. It's time for their first feed, do you want me to bring them to you? I said yes and tried to sit up and just absolutely couldn't. The pain was excruciating. I started to cry because it hurt so bad and the nurse said "hunny you don't have to try to breastfeed now, we can next time." The idea of laying down and going to sleep sounded wonderful and I let that idea overcome me and let the babies take a bottle for their first feed. Big mistake. One I have cried about many times over. I know I can't go back and change what I said, but man...sometimes I wish I could. Because they had a bottle first and because they were so little they couldn't latch when we did try to nurse. If they actually DID get latched on they would become so tired before they got any milk, they would let go and then get frustrated because they were hungry. It was a struggling cycle. Baby would cry, I'd try to nurse, they couldn't latch/would become tired, they would cry harder, I'd say it's ok try again, they would try and couldn't do it, and cry harder. We would go at it for 20 minutes and still couldn't get it done and then those bottles would reappear. Now - I have nothing against moms who strictly bottle/formula feed, but I knew I wanted to breastfeed my children. I wanted that bonding time with them. Just a personal want of mine. I know the important thing at the time was that my children were eating and putting on the weight they had lost after birth - that was what was important. Not how they were eating but the fact that they were eating. My milk supply was also so low in the hospital that I wasn't able to keep up with the demand of two babies, even when I pumped for them. I am happy to report that although it took us a couple of weeks, a few tears, and a lot of hard work we are nursing!! They still get formula as I work on upping my milk supply but the fact that they are ABLE to do it sends me over the moon!! I am overjoyed with it and I hope to stick to it for the first year.
The Hospital Stay
Speaking of struggles...The entire stay at the hospital was hard on me. Now, I know people always say you can't rest in hospitals and it's true. With the nurses coming in every 2 hours to check your vitals, not being able to eat what you want, when you want and every doctor under the sun wanting to talk to you it isn't any wonder why people just want to go home. I was ready to call it quits the very next day. Apparently because of my blood thinners, I ended bleeding out during the C Section more than it is normal to. Doctors said I was ok "obviously" but they were going to have to watch me, make sure my incision stayed closed, I didn't pass huge blood clots, or have any internal bleeding. Ugh scary. Again another reason why I didn't want to mess with having a C Section. But I did and we must move on. Every two hours I have my nurses coming in to press on my stomach to feel where the top of my uterus was, making sure it was shrinking back down to the size it is supposed to be, checking my bleeding. I wanted to die in those moments. Out of everything that happened while I was there, them pushing on my stomach hurt the absolute worst. I would grab onto my bed rails when I knew it was coming.
Then there was the "getting up" to go to the bathroom. I had to pull myself up out of the bed, get onto my wheelchair, roll into the bathroom, get on the toilet, go and then do it all in reverse. Of course I had help from the nurses but I just had major surgery, it was hard work! Because of my leg condition I had a few days where Physical Therapy came to see me. I thought they were going to have me sit over the edge of the bed and do a few foot exercises. No. They wanted me UP and WALKING. I said um... I can't. But they insisted that yes, I could and they were going to be there to help me. I'm proud to say I stood even if it was just for 30 seconds for the first time in over 2 months. I even took a few steps with their help. I cried after it was done. Mostly because my hormones are out of whack and I'm emotional about everything but because I was proud of myself for trying and being able to do that too and not to mention it HURT! This little achievement was going to prove to come back and bite me in the booty.
I was in the hospital for a total of four days, on the third day I told my nurse I wanted to get into the shower. I should mention that at this point we were moved into a handicap accessible room BUT the shower that was in the bathroom did not have a seat... How does that make sense? I had to get my nurse to get me a shower chair and then asked her if she could help me in. She took this as I needed help showering. My mom was busy with the babies when my nurse and a student helper came in to help get me to the shower. With their help I got undressed and into the shower, well she didn't close the curtain. I said I got this and she said no no I need to turn the water on. Pretty sure I could have turned on the water but ok. So she turns on the water and is trying to find the right temperature. She finally determined that semi warm water was what I needed and backed up out of the way. I said ok I got this and she says no, no I'm going to help you. I said No, I'm okay - promise. She says I can help shampoo. I said No. I'm good. So she finally closes the curtain but doesn't leave the bathroom. Whatever. I turn the water all the way as hot as it would go. I haven't had a REALLY hot shower in 9 months and I needed one! At this time (which I would find out later) a charge nurse, who has NEVER helped me before, came into my room. She spotted my walker that Physical Therapy had given me and told my nurse that I needed to be using it, that I shouldn't be in my wheelchair. My mom pipes in and says "she can't do that." The charge nurse says "well she needs to." And my mom says No, you don't understand she can't physically do it. The nurse ignores my mom and continues to change the sheets on my bed. After being asked 100 times if I was ok, or done I finally told the nurse in the bathroom that yes, I'm ready to get out. My long awaited hot shower, was ruined with questions and no alone time. I finally had had enough and got out. I opened the curtain to my nurse and the student standing there, my wheelchair gone and the walker in its place. I looked at my nurse and said "do you expect me to use that?" I was snotty at this point because she ruined my shower and now she thought I should just walk to my bed? What was going on? This nurse had been so helpful up to this point, asking me what I could and couldn't do on my own. Letting me do things myself when I said I could. Why did she think I could walk when I said I couldn't? Turns out that charge nurse told her I should be using the walker, that I needed to be out of my wheelchair. The nurse said, try to use the walker. I told the nurse no. She says "you need to try." I said no again and just sat there, wet in the shower. She says once again you need to try. I said "what part of I can't walk don't you understand?" So she finally gets my wheelchair back in the bathroom for me. I get on the chair and get dried off. I need to get those huge mesh underwear back on and need her help so she goes to get my walker!! I said are you serious? She says "I saw you stand when Physical Therapy was here. I know you can do it." Yeah for two seconds with their help! I said yeah, that was only an hour ago and I'm physically tired from it. I can't do it again. She says "try." I wanted to smack this lady. So I finally say fine, I'll try and I really did try. I couldn't stand. Not all the way. I wasn't putting weight on my left foot because of the intense pain. I said I can't get up with the walker, and sat back down. My nurse finally takes the walker out of the bathroom, and tells the charge nurse that I wasn't going to use it. The charge nurse rolls her eyes and goes out of my room. Like I mentioned before, at the time I didn't know who that woman was, why she was in my room or why she thought I needed to get up and walk. I would later find out she thought I was just a normal C Section patient who was being lazy. I should have just told everyone that I was a paraplegic and then we wouldn't have confusion about why I can't walk. I stopped calling my nurses to help me, instead I asked my mom. She at least understood what I could and couldn't do on my own and we were much happier after that.
Coming Home
Saturday was the day we got to go home! It was the best feeling. Finally it felt real, I was taking my daughters home. They would be in their own room with all of their belongings. Everything we were preparing for came down to this. The drive home was the most careful one we ever drove. I'll have more updates later but if I'm being honest it took me an entire week to write this post between feedings, poopings and getting the girls down for naps. I'm not how often I'll be posting.
FAQ About My Twins
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| First Picture as a Family of Four |
Birth Story
As many of you know the doctors recommended that we schedule an induction date at 38 weeks with our twins. This is because the risk of death increases the longer they are in the womb, running out of space. I know plenty of twin moms who went natural, 40 weeks or over and their twins are perfectly happy and healthy. Props to you moms. However with how long it took us to get pregnant and WHAT it took to get pregnant I didn't want to risk anything I could control with my twins. It's the same with the pregnancies "rules" i.e. don't eat sushi while pregnant. I chose to follow said rules, no matter how silly, because I thought better safe than sorry. So we knew the deadline was going to be around March 25th even though their actual due date was April 8th. At our ultrasound in week 35 Baby B - now known as Olivia, was measuring small. She was labeled a IUGR baby (Intrauterine Growth Restriction). This meant the doctors would like to see an induction scheduled in week 37 instead of week 38. They weren't sure if there was a problem with the placenta or cord causing her to plateau her growth but thought it best they come out a week sooner. Again because of our history I trusted the doctors and we chose March 21st as our induction day.
Fun Fact: My birthday is March 25th and my mom's is March 16th - we thought it would be neat for them to be born in the middle of our birthdays.
The night before our scheduled induction I couldn't sleep. I was SO nervous. I had been in the hospital before with contractions in week 33 - I knew they hurt and I knew it was going to be 10x worse!! I had made an agreement with my doctor that we would fist break my bags of water, wait two hours to see if my body progressed on its own, and if not then start the Pitocin. I was starting to worry that my body wouldn't make the necessary changes and I was going to need that awful drug. People say Pitocin is better than back labor...yeah well I was already having some of that too. Either way this plays out it's not going to be fun...
The next morning we arrived at the hospital bright and early. 7:00 am to be exact. We got checked in and found out they didn't have a wheelchair accessible room available at the time. I was starting to get bummed because the room they put us in was small and it was hard to move my wheelchair around in it and the bathroom was almost impossible for me to use. But I kept crossing my fingers that it was going to work out and we wouldn't need that room for very long. Between 7:30 and 8:00 am my OB came in to discuss the game plan (aka birth plan) and mentioned that I would labor in this room and then be wheeled into the OR room to give birth - just in case the twins needed medical attention or I needed an emergency C Section. I was allowed to have up to 4 people in the room while I labored but only my husband was allowed back in the OR room with me. I had both my hubby and my mom there at the time. I figured my mom has done this four times now, she's a pro, and can help me through all this. My OB asked me again if I thought I wanted to go the natural route, they had been leaving the decision up to me for a few reasons. Both twins were head down and in great position to deliver naturally, nothing in pregnancy warranted concerns, and my legs were the biggest reason they were letting me decide. If babies looked great and I could position my own legs where they needed to be then fine, we'll go naturally. But, once my OB asked me on that morning if we were still planning on doing this naturally and asked how my legs were doing I started to rethink my situation. I asked her to let me have time to talk with my family and decide. I turned to my mom and husband and asked what they thought - both said it was up to me and how I felt. I said I just don't know. I don't want a C Section, those take a long time to heal from and with me being in the chair it might take even longer. I want to do this naturally with no drugs because it's best for the babies. My mom suggested I call my Aunt who worked as a nurse and has had twins herself. After a long conversation with her and telling her my concerns of laboring 27 hours, not being able to get my legs spread as far apart as needed, I would end up having a C Section anyway she agreed she thought going straight for the C Section was the smart thing to do. It wasn't worth laboring all those hours if I couldn't get my legs apart, and no one knows the condition of my legs (because we haven't been able to take x-rays) I might break my hips trying to go naturally. After I hung up with her, and a few tears later, I had made the much hated but needed decision of going straight for the C Section. It was my choice.
The Caesarean Section
After I made the decision everything happened very quickly. The anesthesiologist came at about 9:00 to discuss my options. Because I haven't been walking I've been put on blood thinners. With the blood thinners, I have a higher risk of the spinals not working or something going terribly wrong so I opted not to have a spinal block or epidural but instead be completely put out under general anesthesia. That decision made it so Eric could not be in the OR room with me in case I started convulsing or worse... but it also meant that he wasn't going to be able to cut their cords. I got emotional about this and asked if he wanted to do that, because I would go for the spinal if he really wanted to cut their cords. He told me not to worry about it, that general was the way to go because if one drop of blood got into my spinal cord I could have serious damage.
At 10:00 I was prepped for my surgery. My parents prayed with us and then left to wait in the waiting room. Eric put on scrubs and I basically had nothing, just that tiny gown they give you but unbutton so I'm basically exposed. I kissed my husband goodbye and was wheeled into the OR room. Here we go I thought. Everything I never wanted. I had about 13 people in the room with me, one team for each baby, two doctors, and one anesthesiologist. I laid there like a frog ready to be dissected. Legs bent, stomach out, arms both out to the side. Okay real talk for a minute, the best thing about that surgery was the catheter and I'm not joking. It wasn't fun having it put in but once it was in it was great. Everyone had been telling me I needed to "get my sleep now" but what they don't know is that like any other pregnant lady I was getting up about every two hours to go to the bathroom. That's not an easy task when you can't walk and you have a watermelon to carry around. Getting a catheter put in meant I wouldn't have to kill myself trying to get to the bathroom = I was happy. Because I was going under general, they prepped everything before they knocked me out. They didn't want the babies under for very long, so once everything was ready to go, the anesthesiologist told me to have a good nap and I was out.
I woke up in the recovery room with Eric. Each time I go under general I always wake up cold and this time was no different. I was freezing! I asked for more blankets and they put a tube under me that blew hot air, then I was handed my babies! I was still extremely tired but this was the happiest moment of my life. I was finally able to hold my babies, and meet them. I asked Eric who was who and he said Georgia was on my right. I asked about 5 more times because I wanted to make sure Baby A really got the name Georgia. They had us fill out the birth certificates before we went into surgery and basically said whoever they pulled out first was getting the name Georgia - I said "OH NO, Baby A has been Georgia my entire pregnancy, I can't just call Baby B that name just because YOU pulled her out first." Baby A indeed came out first and was named Georgia appropriately and Baby B is our Olivia.
Georgia Mae was born at 10:56 am weighing 5lbs 2oz 17 inches long
Olivia Jordan was born a minute later at 10:57 am 5lbs 4oz 18.5 inches long
Beastfeeding
In the end the baby that the doctors were worried about ending up being the bigger baby! They were both on the small side and I was concerned they were going to need some NICU time. Praise God we didn't have to spend ANY time in the NICU at all!! If I could go back though and change one thing I would NEVER have said "give my babies a bottle." Before we went to our mother & baby room, I wasn't feeling supurb. I was still cold, super tired, and could feel every bit of aftermath of my surgery because I wasn't on my morphine drip yet and that's when they asked me if I wanted to try to nurse or if the nurses should give the babies a bottle for their first feed. I initially told them I wanted to nurse my babies. When the time actually came, the babies weren't in the room with me, but my nurse came to me and said your babies are hungry. It's time for their first feed, do you want me to bring them to you? I said yes and tried to sit up and just absolutely couldn't. The pain was excruciating. I started to cry because it hurt so bad and the nurse said "hunny you don't have to try to breastfeed now, we can next time." The idea of laying down and going to sleep sounded wonderful and I let that idea overcome me and let the babies take a bottle for their first feed. Big mistake. One I have cried about many times over. I know I can't go back and change what I said, but man...sometimes I wish I could. Because they had a bottle first and because they were so little they couldn't latch when we did try to nurse. If they actually DID get latched on they would become so tired before they got any milk, they would let go and then get frustrated because they were hungry. It was a struggling cycle. Baby would cry, I'd try to nurse, they couldn't latch/would become tired, they would cry harder, I'd say it's ok try again, they would try and couldn't do it, and cry harder. We would go at it for 20 minutes and still couldn't get it done and then those bottles would reappear. Now - I have nothing against moms who strictly bottle/formula feed, but I knew I wanted to breastfeed my children. I wanted that bonding time with them. Just a personal want of mine. I know the important thing at the time was that my children were eating and putting on the weight they had lost after birth - that was what was important. Not how they were eating but the fact that they were eating. My milk supply was also so low in the hospital that I wasn't able to keep up with the demand of two babies, even when I pumped for them. I am happy to report that although it took us a couple of weeks, a few tears, and a lot of hard work we are nursing!! They still get formula as I work on upping my milk supply but the fact that they are ABLE to do it sends me over the moon!! I am overjoyed with it and I hope to stick to it for the first year.
The Hospital Stay
Speaking of struggles...The entire stay at the hospital was hard on me. Now, I know people always say you can't rest in hospitals and it's true. With the nurses coming in every 2 hours to check your vitals, not being able to eat what you want, when you want and every doctor under the sun wanting to talk to you it isn't any wonder why people just want to go home. I was ready to call it quits the very next day. Apparently because of my blood thinners, I ended bleeding out during the C Section more than it is normal to. Doctors said I was ok "obviously" but they were going to have to watch me, make sure my incision stayed closed, I didn't pass huge blood clots, or have any internal bleeding. Ugh scary. Again another reason why I didn't want to mess with having a C Section. But I did and we must move on. Every two hours I have my nurses coming in to press on my stomach to feel where the top of my uterus was, making sure it was shrinking back down to the size it is supposed to be, checking my bleeding. I wanted to die in those moments. Out of everything that happened while I was there, them pushing on my stomach hurt the absolute worst. I would grab onto my bed rails when I knew it was coming.
Then there was the "getting up" to go to the bathroom. I had to pull myself up out of the bed, get onto my wheelchair, roll into the bathroom, get on the toilet, go and then do it all in reverse. Of course I had help from the nurses but I just had major surgery, it was hard work! Because of my leg condition I had a few days where Physical Therapy came to see me. I thought they were going to have me sit over the edge of the bed and do a few foot exercises. No. They wanted me UP and WALKING. I said um... I can't. But they insisted that yes, I could and they were going to be there to help me. I'm proud to say I stood even if it was just for 30 seconds for the first time in over 2 months. I even took a few steps with their help. I cried after it was done. Mostly because my hormones are out of whack and I'm emotional about everything but because I was proud of myself for trying and being able to do that too and not to mention it HURT! This little achievement was going to prove to come back and bite me in the booty.
I was in the hospital for a total of four days, on the third day I told my nurse I wanted to get into the shower. I should mention that at this point we were moved into a handicap accessible room BUT the shower that was in the bathroom did not have a seat... How does that make sense? I had to get my nurse to get me a shower chair and then asked her if she could help me in. She took this as I needed help showering. My mom was busy with the babies when my nurse and a student helper came in to help get me to the shower. With their help I got undressed and into the shower, well she didn't close the curtain. I said I got this and she said no no I need to turn the water on. Pretty sure I could have turned on the water but ok. So she turns on the water and is trying to find the right temperature. She finally determined that semi warm water was what I needed and backed up out of the way. I said ok I got this and she says no, no I'm going to help you. I said No, I'm okay - promise. She says I can help shampoo. I said No. I'm good. So she finally closes the curtain but doesn't leave the bathroom. Whatever. I turn the water all the way as hot as it would go. I haven't had a REALLY hot shower in 9 months and I needed one! At this time (which I would find out later) a charge nurse, who has NEVER helped me before, came into my room. She spotted my walker that Physical Therapy had given me and told my nurse that I needed to be using it, that I shouldn't be in my wheelchair. My mom pipes in and says "she can't do that." The charge nurse says "well she needs to." And my mom says No, you don't understand she can't physically do it. The nurse ignores my mom and continues to change the sheets on my bed. After being asked 100 times if I was ok, or done I finally told the nurse in the bathroom that yes, I'm ready to get out. My long awaited hot shower, was ruined with questions and no alone time. I finally had had enough and got out. I opened the curtain to my nurse and the student standing there, my wheelchair gone and the walker in its place. I looked at my nurse and said "do you expect me to use that?" I was snotty at this point because she ruined my shower and now she thought I should just walk to my bed? What was going on? This nurse had been so helpful up to this point, asking me what I could and couldn't do on my own. Letting me do things myself when I said I could. Why did she think I could walk when I said I couldn't? Turns out that charge nurse told her I should be using the walker, that I needed to be out of my wheelchair. The nurse said, try to use the walker. I told the nurse no. She says "you need to try." I said no again and just sat there, wet in the shower. She says once again you need to try. I said "what part of I can't walk don't you understand?" So she finally gets my wheelchair back in the bathroom for me. I get on the chair and get dried off. I need to get those huge mesh underwear back on and need her help so she goes to get my walker!! I said are you serious? She says "I saw you stand when Physical Therapy was here. I know you can do it." Yeah for two seconds with their help! I said yeah, that was only an hour ago and I'm physically tired from it. I can't do it again. She says "try." I wanted to smack this lady. So I finally say fine, I'll try and I really did try. I couldn't stand. Not all the way. I wasn't putting weight on my left foot because of the intense pain. I said I can't get up with the walker, and sat back down. My nurse finally takes the walker out of the bathroom, and tells the charge nurse that I wasn't going to use it. The charge nurse rolls her eyes and goes out of my room. Like I mentioned before, at the time I didn't know who that woman was, why she was in my room or why she thought I needed to get up and walk. I would later find out she thought I was just a normal C Section patient who was being lazy. I should have just told everyone that I was a paraplegic and then we wouldn't have confusion about why I can't walk. I stopped calling my nurses to help me, instead I asked my mom. She at least understood what I could and couldn't do on my own and we were much happier after that.
Coming Home
Saturday was the day we got to go home! It was the best feeling. Finally it felt real, I was taking my daughters home. They would be in their own room with all of their belongings. Everything we were preparing for came down to this. The drive home was the most careful one we ever drove. I'll have more updates later but if I'm being honest it took me an entire week to write this post between feedings, poopings and getting the girls down for naps. I'm not how often I'll be posting.
FAQ About My Twins
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