The Company You Keep

Take a close look at the friends you surround yourself with. Do you need to change or maybe even eliminate some of those relationships? 

Toxic people are just that - TOXIC to your life. Be careful who you let into your circle because your friends should be people who will lift you up, help edify you, cheer you on, and be excited for you when something great happens in your life. Negative Nancys will do the opposite. They will tear you down, be-little you, gossip about you behind your back, be spiteful when good things happen to you, and most importantly bash your husband. 

It is NEVER okay for anyone to bash husbands, hers, mine or yours! Marriages have rocky roads and it is best to have a few select friends you ask to pray for your marriage during difficult times but these friends should be cheerleaders of your husband too. They should know his character well enough to point out the good in him and want a win for your marriage - and you should want the same for your friends. 

"Here are some things to consider when looking at the people you surround yourself with:

• Does she speak the truth? If she exaggerates the misdeeds (real or imagined) of the man in her life (or your life), it may be time to lessen your time with her.
• When speaking the truth, does she do it with love? So maybe her husband really does do some not so great things, but we can either approach our relationships with love or judgment. We don't get to do both. Is she speaking the truth but not with love? It may be time to move on.
• Does she love being stuck? Some people just love being stuck in their bad situation. It doesn't matter how many suggestions you make or ideas you offer - they just want to be stuck. Get out now before they start to limit your thinking about your own marriage."

I recently read that excerpt from 101 simple ways to show your husband you love him by Kathi Lipp. It was number one, for good reason. My grandfather would always tell my dad growing up "show me who your friends are and I will show you who you are." And isn't that so true? We tend to take on characteristics from the people we hang out with and like one bad apple in the bag of fresh ones, it will turn the others rotten. If we are not wise and allow a Negative Nancy to come into our lives and say hateful things about her own husband, repeatedly, we can bet that we will soon find ourselves saying hateful things about our own men. It won't start off bad, but maybe he doesn't clean up after himself and it drives you crazy, or maybe he doesn't turn his socks right side out for the wash and you want to beat him for having to stick your hand inside those nasty, crusty socks...But be ye warned! This is how husband bashing starts. You give the enemy an inch and he will take a foot. Before long you will be talking about very private, intimate struggles you and your husband are going through and it won't be said in love or for the right reasons. 

Now, I'm not saying get rid of all the people who ever said anything bad about their husbands once. No, no. If anything we need to reach out in love for them and say "now that wasn't very encouraging for your husband" and get them back on the right track. Everyone has bad days, and sometimes they need to get it out in the open and tell someone about it. We need to speak truth to them though. "Perhaps your husband had a mishappening, a screw up, etc. but remember he is caring in this area. Have you talked with him about it yet?" 

I'm talking about the people who continually put their husbands down, who have nothing good ever to say about them or yours, who point out their every flaw. RUN. Do not let this person stay in your life. Your marriage is the most important thing on this earth, let's treat it as such.

Go let YOUR love multiply.

XOXOXO