18 Things Not To Say To Someone Trying To Conceive

My husband and I spent 12 months trying to conceive our first child. I realize that a year, in the large scheme of things, is not that long and that we are blessed that things worked out in the end. But that didn't stop the cringe when we would hear the below comments made.

1. Your time will come / It'll happen when it's meant to be. I'm sorry - do you know the future or my diagnoses? No. Then be quiet. You have no idea if it's bound to happen for me.
2. Trust me you're lucky you don't have kid, they are a pain! Maybe yours are but that doesn't stop me from wanting my own.
3. Just adopt. No. I should just leave that answer there. Many kids are in need of a loving home and I understand that but it also takes time and money to adopt and sometimes the adoption process doesn't work out and those last 8 months were spent in vain. It also take very special people to open their home and love a child who is not biologically theirs. And further more, adoption doesn't cure the craving of wanting your own biological child and being pregnant and feeling life grow in your belly. I'm not saying we will never adopt, but that shouldn't be the answer when I tell someone we're having a hard time conceiving.
4. Maybe it's just not meant to be / Maybe you weren't meant to be parents. Wow. I thought we were pretty kick butt people and would make awesome parents but thanks for bringing me back down the earth.
5. You can have mine. No thanks.
6. Wanna borrow my spouse? Eww. No.
7. I got pregnant by my husband just looking at me. And while I am so happy you've never had to experience this hardship....I wanna punch you in the face.
8. Just relax / stop trying so hard and it'll happen. Again, do you know my diagnoses? How do you know it'll happen? And what does "trying too hard" really mean? Do you know how sex works?
9. Have you prayed about it? You're joking right?
10. I personally don't believe in fertility treatments. That's great for you (I can guarantee you do not know the entire process of the fertility treatment world).
11. Is it him or you? If I do not openly share this information with you, it is none of your business.
12. Not everyone is meant to have a child. I'd like to believe I am not one of those people...
13. I'm pregnant! I would have told you sooner but I didn't know how you were going to take it. Rude. I will be soooo happy for you in front of your face and probably have a little bit of jealousy deep down but honestly if you don't tell me, and I find out another way I will feel betrayed and our friendship will probably suffer more than what you thought it was going if you had just told me.
14. At least it's not cancer or something worse. I don't think these things are comparable...
15. That's too bad. It happened on our first try! Again I'm so glad you're a fertile myrtle. I really don't care WHAT try it happened for you.
16. You're so young! You have plenty of time to get pregnant. No....I really don't.
17. What's the big deal? You already have one child. While I didn't personally suffer from secondary infertility I know a lot of friends who have and it doesn't make the heartache go away or make the situation any easier. It's hard to come to terms that your family might not be as big as you once imagined it to be.
18. If you really wanted one, you would have one already. This one drives me bonkers. What is this supposed to mean? How is me wanting one more going to make it happen? Also, I don't think you can REALLY REALLY REALLY desire one and then "just relax" at the same time. So which is it? Should I just relax or should I go crazy with desire?

And the best one - Once you tell people that you're pregnant...
So how did it finally happen? Do you go through IUI, IVF? Sperm Donor? My babies are miracles, let's just leave it at that and be happy for me!