This has
been the scariest weekend of my life. This past Saturday I was coordinating a
wedding, it was beautiful and aside from the rainy, windy and cold weather it
went great, but I was on my feet for 14+ hours. I took breaks when I needed and
at the time only one of my feet were acting up and so standing was a little
easier back then. At the end of the night, when everything was cleaned up and
we were on our way back home I was in so much pain (feet/legs) and so tired
that I asked Eric to drive. If you know anything about me you would know that
almost never happens. I prefer to
drive but I just physically could not do it that night. When we got home I left
everything in the car and went straight to bed, it was just past 1:00am.
That night I
couldn’t sleep. I felt like I was having a panic attack. My heart was racing, I
was wearing my fitbit at the time and it said 130 heart-rate. I was cold and
clammy. My back felt like it was on fire. My nose was running and I couldn’t stop
sneezing. Something is seriously wrong with me I thought, and then I started to
shake. Kind of like when it’s cold outside and you get the chills that you just
can’t get rid of. I ended up getting up, drinking lots of water and going to
the room we have set up as the nursery to sleep in there where we have an extra
bed. I didn’t want to wake up my husband. It didn’t work though, he noticed I
was gone and came to check on me. I told him I was miserable and that I felt
like something was wrong but didn’t know what. I’ve never had a panic attack
like that before. He got me the heating pad for my back, made sure I was
comfortable enough before returning back to our room and I was able to calm
down enough to fall back asleep.
When I woke
up the next morning (Sunday) I felt calm but still not right. My throat was now
on fire. My family has a whole history with strep throat from my sister being a
carrier to my little brother ending up in the hospital because it went undetected
so I decided to skip church and go to Urgent Care and get checked out. I don’t
want to be really sick, not know it and something happen to the babies…When I
got up and went to the bathroom a new horror started. *WARNING* Girl TMI –
There was a little bit of blood. It was brown telling me it was old and not a
current bleed. Okay, okay – I kept telling myself. Bleeding in twin pregnancy
is quite normal. But it didn’t help me much. At this point I have never had any
kind of bleeding or spotting during this pregnancy. Not even implantation
bleeding so needless to say I start freaking out. This blood comes and goes
each time I use the restroom.
I make it to
Urgent Care – they check me for Strep and other throat issues, and it comes
back negative. Doc says she’s sorry but I’m just going to have to suffer
through this what looks to be a cold because no over the counter meds are safe
enough to take during pregnancy. I’m okay with that. I just wanted to make sure
I didn’t have strep, but now my bleeding becomes bright red…telling me this IS
a current bleed.
I tell my
mom everything and ask her what I should do? Should I go to the ER and get
checked out?? She says because it’s coming and going, and because you were on
your feet all day yesterday I think you just need to get in bed and rest and
see how everything is in the morning. Call your OB and schedule an appointment
with them. Because mom is a wise woman, I did just that. I went straight to bed
and relaxed, or tried to, for the rest of the day. I’d be lying if I said I
didn’t cry because oh man I cried. I prayed that my littles would be ok and
that this bleeding was just from the cervix or something like that being
irritated. That this blood was NOT coming from inside the uterus. I called my
boss Sunday night and told him I needed to take a personal day for Monday. He’s
a great boss and has known about our journey since the beginning so he wished
us well and to keep him updated.
Monday
morning came and I called my OB right away when they opened. I told the nurse
everything that had happened during the weekend and she reaffirmed that she
thought it was just some cervical bleeding and that everything was going to be
okay but if I wanted she could schedule me an emergence ultrasound if that
would make me feel better. I told her yes please! She unfortunately wasn’t able
to get me into their office to do it but gave me a number to the diagnostic imaging
centers around my area to call. I called the number and spoke with the girl she
asked what location I wanted to be at and I said well I don’t know what
locations you have, do you have a Naperville location? She says yes, but the
earliest she can get me in there is FRIDAY! I said I can’t wait that long it
needs to be either today or tomorrow morning. So we looked at the Lisle center
and they had an open appointment for Monday night at 8pm. I said I’ll take it!
Eric got
home about 6:00pm and we both made our way out to the doctors at 7:30pm. I was
so glad he was coming with me because I’m not sure if I could handle bad news
by myself. We arrived and the directions the girl on the phone gave me were to
go up to the third floor and it was suite 310. We make our way up but there’s
no one in the office. It was unlocked so we were waiting in the waiting room
but no one came through. I started looking around for a number to call to get
someone to come up to the front but there wasn’t even a business card out!
After about 10 minutes of waiting I finally just went into the back and found
some cleaning people and asked “are there any nurses or doctors here??” The
cleaning lady tells me no, what are you here for? I tell her for an ultrasound
and she says OH….You want to be downstairs! I said oh, I was told it was this
suite on the phone and she says no it’s downstairs I don’t know what suite but
ask the receptionist at the front desk. So we go down to the 2nd
floor where the receptionist is supposed to sit but guess what, no
receptionist. I found a suite with someone in it and knocked on the door. Told
her I was looking for the imaging center and she says oh, you need to go down
one more floor and it’s the first door on the right. I thanked her and we went
down one more floor. We’re now 10 minutes late to our appointment that we were
10 minutes early to!
We finally
make it to the correct location and sign in. Luckily they’re running a little
behind and my name hadn’t been called yet. When my name does get called my
heart starts pounding. I say this is it… We go back into the ultrasound room
with the tech. She informs us that she is just a tech and will not be able to
tell us a diagnosis that we’re going to have to get that information from our
doctor. I’ve had enough ultrasounds and my first Dr. was amazing enough to
explain every little detail, what was good, what was bad, what we need to be
looking for…so I didn’t need her to tell me anything, I could see it for
myself.
Right there
on the screen were my little babies. Each one moving around. I said in my
heart, Thank God. They’re both moving. The tech proceeded to measure each one
and each one measured right on track for how many weeks I am. She said “I’m not
able to tell what their genders are yet.” I said I didn’t care I’m just glad to
see them doing ok and measuring on track. She tracked their heartbeats and both
were over 150, another great sign. And then B started kicking at A (haha!) Eric
was recording it and we got reprimanded by the tech. She told us that pictures
and videos were prohibited. I said but these are our babies and our diagnosis…
She said I know but those are the center’s rules. I thought that was ridiculous
but whatever, again I was just happy to see them. The Tech was able to tell me
that she couldn’t see bleeding in the uterus that it could have come from an
irritated cervix or one of the placentas being close to the cervix. I sighed a
huge relief. By this time at night my bleeding has completely stopped and with
her saying there wasn’t any bleeding actually in the uterus I once again could
breathe.
I’ve never
been so scared in my life. People all the time try to reassure me that bleeding
during pregnancy is normal and especially in twin pregnancy but that doesn’t
stop the worrying! I’ve promised myself to not over-work myself like that again
within the next 6 months. It’s just not worth it. These babies are my life. I
would give anything for them, and I can’t risk another scare like that. I’m
already worried what the last few months of this pregnancy are going to be
like, I don’t need to add to that.
Keep us in
your thoughts and prayers as we make our way through this pregnancy. It is
absolutely nothing like a singleton pregnancy. There are SO many factors and
complications that arise that singleton mom’s don’t even think about. And I’m
GLAD they don’t have to think about it because it’s enough to make you worry
sick! I would love all the prayers for a healthy pregnancy and two beautifully
healthy babies! Yep, I’m gonna be selfish and say that.
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